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  • What is self-confidence?

    Well the literal definition is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.

    So at the end of the day it comes down to whether we trust ourselves and our abilities. Have you ever wondered why you may be confident in one area of your life but not in another?

    If you have experienced this than the answer is you more than likely do not trust yourself in that situation or trust yourself to be able to handle the potential issues that arise.

    Now this may have been caused from an event in the past where you have been hurt, embarrassed etc., something happened and you do not want to experience that again. It’s no surprise you haven’t the confidence to face this like other areas of your life.

    Or it could be it’s something new and you have never experienced that before and fear is ruling your confidence

    So the real question is how do we build that confidence back up?

    If it were as simple as trusting ourselves then we probably wouldn’t have low confidence areas. Learning to trust yourself will definitely help and as you know a lot of things are easier said than done.

    Personally I believe it takes more than just being able to trust ourselves. Sure trust is a major player in the confidence ring; like in any area in a life there are other players to consider.

    It all depends on why you aren’t confident. Is it because you don’t trust yourself, are you afraid, confused etc.

    Before we go further into this stop for a couple of minutes and ask yourself what is holding you back?

    What is the reason you are not feeling confident in either yourself or abilities?

    Like other areas in our life you may have taken on others peoples beliefs as your own and have never truly formed your own beliefs about both yourself and skill. If this is the case replacing those old beliefs with new ones can be challenging but I know you can do it.

    This is where I want you to focus on your strengths and positive attributes. Your self-confidence may just be muddled up with all the crap you have heard others say to you over the years. Once you start to focus on all your strengths and positive attributes you may realise that everything you believed is not true.

    Look at the areas in your life where you are confident and take the tools and resources to implement in other areas. I know you are probably saying “No, it can’t be that easy” well sometimes it is.

    If you feel like you have no confidence at all, then this is where I will challenge you. There must be one area of your life that you feel confident, comfortable in your ability, have no fear; usually areas which you a confident in, you are comfortable, happy, fearless etc. Think of the things you enjoy doing, things you can’t wait to do, it doesn’t matter what it is, whether it’s a solo activity or speaking in front of a large crowd.

    The point of this exercise is to prove that you do have confidence, you may have not realised it before. You always thought being confident meant being brave and facing fears, talking on a stage in front of thousands of people and not batting an eye, not caring what others think etc. Yes they all can be factors of someone being confident, but just because people appear confident doesn’t always mean they are. However in this case I have to give them praise as they are acting as if. If you constantly act confident then eventually you’ll believe it and you’ll end up being confident.

    Believe in yourself and know who you really are, trust yourself, allow yourself to learn lessons, be courageous and only listen to you.

    Know you are already confident, it could be hidden away, ready for you to unlock that door

    To help unlock that door, ask yourself:

    What will it take for you to trust yourself?

    What does confidence look like for you?

    What is Confidence to you?

    What does it feel like to be confident?

    What will it take for you to be confident?

    Remember this is about you, so answer the above questions with your opinion and definitions. It doesn’t matter what others say or think. Their version of confidence may differ from yours. There is no right or wrong, just different.

    Go out and embrace the world and become the person you are supposed to be. Remember all things take practice, so don’t fret if you stumble. Know you are doing the best you can and you are constantly learning. Being more confident can also help you decide what you really want.

    Go forth and unlock that door, you already have the key.