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  • How to let go of the past?

  • Have you ever had something happen that is still holding you back; something that you are ready to get rid of, but are unsure how?

    We all have those skeletons that we want to clear out and perhaps even start fresh.

    It’s never too late to start fresh. As long as you are breathing you can choose to change course and start new. I understand this isn’t always easy as there may be others that are still holding a grudge or you accountable for whatever it was.

    If you find yourself in the situations where the people around you are not supporting you or helping you get the outcome you deserve then don’t hang around with them. Don’t let them drag you down

    I know leaving people behind is easier said than done, but if they are the reason you are having difficulties letting go then you have to do what’s best for you.

    Letting go of the past to me is all about forgiving yourself. Now you may say “I didn’t do anything wrong, so why do I need to forgive myself?”

    My answer to that is well there’s a reason you haven’t let this go already. Look back on your life; there are probably things that you look back on now and laugh but at the time you felt like the world had ended. Somehow and somewhere along the line you let go of that embarrassment, anger or whatever it was. You did that by forgiving yourself and with the gift of hindsight.

    You may feel that you need to let go of that anger, jealousy, depression, feelings of inadequacy tied to the situation. In order to let go of those feelings you need to give yourself permission to feel those feelings and acknowledge those feelings are and were there for a reason.

    Usually I know there are other parties involved with letting go of things; whether it’s a relationship gone bad, how someone treated you etc. In order for you to forgive them to move on, you need to first forgive yourself. If you can’t forgive yourself then how can you expect yourself to truly forgive others?

    I know you are probably reading this and saying it’s all BS. Let’s take an example of someone treating you poorly in a relationship; you are mad at them for doing and saying those things to you, however you allowed it. So you have to forgive yourself for allowing them to treat you that way, or forgive yourself for being with them for so long. That person may never change their ways or who they are this is where you have to accept them for them and not hope that one day they will change. So yes it is a twostep process, acknowledge and accept them for who they are (forgive them) and most importantly acknowledge yourself for the courage and strength it takes to forgive them and then focus that forgiveness on yourself. Look at it as a learning process. Looking at these events as a point of weakness or failure will not help move you forward. Know you did the best you could at that point in your life. The reason why I said forgive them first is because if you have forgiven them it can make it easier to forgive yourself.

    Be honest with yourself. I don’t care if you are putting up a façade for all your friends and family but you can’t lie to yourself. Deep down you know the truth.  Trying to keep secrets from yourself is pointless. If you are really looking to move on you need to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself:

    What do you really want to let go of?

    How is this holding you back/effecting your life?

    What is your desired outcome?

    Are you ready to forgive yourself?

    If you have answered No to the last question, don’t stress about it, it just means you’re not ready to let this go yet. There is always something you can forgive yourself which will help you let go. So if you have answered No, dig deeper and look into why and what is holding you back?

    This quest is not an easy quest, Soul searching never is. There are many ways which we have been advised throughout life to build a bridge and get over it. Forgiveness does not mean you forget

    Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which you undergo a change in feelings and attitude regarding a particular event

    Never forget your journey and the lessons you learned on the way. Be open to forgiveness. Allow yourself to be human and experience life. Sure you have had your moments in the past but don’t let them hold you back. This is your life and you have the right to live it as you see fit.

    In order for you to live to your full potential, you have to be willing to forgive yourself. Remember we are the worst judges on ourselves. If you are finding it hard to forgive yourself, think if you had a friend who came to you with the same situation what would you tell them do to and would you be able to point out their strengths?

    Realising your strengths in any situation will make it easier to forgive yourself. Focus on the positives and give yourself permission to experience the negatives.

    Without trying to sound like a broken record it’s all within you.

    If you can forgive yourself for learning and let go of whatever is holding you back everything will look and feel better.

    Not everything in life has to be logical or thought out. Sometimes we just need to feel.

    Give yourself permission to live

    Start living your guilt free life today

    Forgiveness is the key to unlocking that door, so go and unlock that door and live your life