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  • How to improve self-image?

  • So this is a big one.

    The way we perceive ourselves is the secret to everything.

    What we often fail to realize is the qualities we recognise in others we already have within ourselves. We can easily spot the good qualities and compare ourselves so easily to others.

    But why is that?

    Do they really have a better life, or is it something that once we look past the entire BS we have been taught to believe that we realise we are just as happy and successful as them?

    What I am getting at here is that how we view ourselves always impacts on how we view our life. If we are not happy with whom we are and have a negative outlook then it is no surprise that we are not happy with life.

    I would tell you to forget all those negative bad things others have told you, if you can do that great. Let it go. In most case these memories aren’t something you just pick up and throw away never to think of again. Just know most the time when people say something negative they are usually talking about someone’s actions or behaviour and not the person themselves.

    We have all made mistakes, or as I prefer learned lessons. Those lessons don’t define who you are. Granted we wouldn’t be who we are if we hadn’t travelled the same road but the journey does not equal the destination.

    Just because you may have been defined once upon a time as a bad person, or lazy whatever it may be does not mean that you are these things. More than likely you acted in a way someone else didn’t like or agree with.

    Most our negative beliefs have come from other people. When you hear that voice in your head spouting these negative thoughts, whose voice are you hearing?

    If you are hearing someone else’s voice then you can rest assured and know that this is not what you truly believe. If it is your voice, ask yourself do you really believe that. It’s ok if you do, this is where you may have to dig deeper and get to the main cause. It may just be a simple matter of you being constantly told that you are whatever this negative self-belief is.

    To improve your self-belief you need to focus all your energy on you. Focus on pleasing the only person who has the power to make your life better. That’s you.

    Use people as role models if you need to. This does not give you reason to compare yourself. No one else has lived your life or knows what you have struggled through.

    Knowing you have done the best you could with what you had available is a great tool. When you recognise someone is a beautiful person, they’re kind, caring, giving, funny, friendly etc ask yourself how can you recognise these qualities if you don’t have them within yourself?

    For some reason we focus on the negatives, now I don’t know if this is imbedded in our DNA or if it’s something taught and passed down from generations ago. Life is what you make it and you can be whoever you want to be.

    You can choose if you are happy with whom you are or not. You can choose to change if you don’t like what you see. You always have a choice, especially when it comes to you and how you perceive yourself and those around you.

    Moving forward think about all your strengths, your positive attributes and focus on them. This will help improve your self-image as you are now focusing on the positives in your life.

    With the attributes you deem negative think about what are the positives or what do they give you. Asking yourself this will help you realise they are there for a reason and you may even find out that they’re not as bad as you once thought.

    For example I can be extremely stubborn; once upon a time I deemed it a curse; once that shield comes up you better run as I am like a bull and will not give up. One day I realised it has some cons but it also provides me with strength and determination. Is it a quality I would like to change, sometimes, but then I think about what that attribute gives me and allows me to do. When I think about what it gives me, I don’t want to change it. It is a big part of who I am and I would never want to lose my determination. So in this case the good outweighs the bad. You’ll probably find this is usually the case; we just never gave it any thought.

    To every negative there is and will always be a positive. Just like anything else in life you cannot have one without the other. You can’t have darkness without light, white without black, left without right etc.  The reason we have opposites is so we can tell things apart, so we can recognise them. How would we know it was dark if we didn’t have light in the first place? If it was always dark that would be just the way it was and we would be none the wiser.

    That last statement may ring true to a lot of people and their self-talk, image and belief. You may have not known anything other to what you have been doing so. You may not have known that you can choose to see yourself differently or that you have the power to change how you view yourself.

    It can be challenging at times especially if you are new at this. Take it one step and a time and do things that make you feel better about yourself.

    Think about one positive thing about you each day.

    Spend time for just you, relaxing, doing something you enjoy, have fun and just simply unwind

    Sometimes we fail to acknowledge our own qualities, if this is something you struggle with try asking those closest to you what your strengths and positive attributes are. Eventually you will be able to identify these traits yourself. Don’t stress if you have to seek guidance from those around you as we all have to start somewhere.

    Remember you are amazing; you just need to look at yourself through a different mirror or with different glasses.