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  • The first step to becoming the best version of you is to figure out who you really are and who you want to be.

    Despite what you may have been told you do have a choice and can decided who you want to be. Yes you may have traits passed down through DNA, learned habits and all those quirks that make you unique to only you. If you find yourself asking is that really me or who I want to be then perhaps you need to figure out what traits you want and don’t want.

    Just because your parents, siblings etc have specific traits and characteristics does not mean you need to.

    You are you and have the right to be unique to just yourself; If your family members/friends have a trait or characteristic that you like and want to have then adopt them.

    This is where having a role model can come in handy. Just remember if you want to copy/model someone you don’t have to be them. You can take on what works for you and ditch the rest.

    This journey is not about becoming someone else it’s about finding you.

    Finding out who you want to be is a life journey and you may have to try on different personalities and characteristics until you find one that suits you.

    It may sound cliché and if you don’t know who you really are or who you really want to be; try on other personalities and see what works for you. You will know when you have found the right combination for you, it will be something you feel, hear, see or think.  I can’t explain it but you’ll just know. Just like with other important things in life, usually you hear this in relation to love, but I believe that concept is the same for anything we hold dear.

    When you are being true with yourself you will feel comfortable, relaxed and even confident along with other positive emotions and thoughts; When you are at this stage that is a sure sign that you are on the right path.

    There can be other things that may be preventing you from expressing yourself and being true to who you are. This is where a discovery session may come in handy.

    If you know deep down that you are you but something is holding you back from expressing that to the world; ask yourself what is holding me back?

    What am I afraid of?

    I will tell you now that whatever it is, it will be fear based and could possibly go against your values, beliefs and possibly go against one of our core needs.

    If it is fear that is holding you back and if you haven’t done so already I suggest you read the previous articles on overcoming fears, self-confidence and what do you really want. Articles can help however sometimes you do need to work with someone and if you feel you need to have a conversation and work with someone to find your identity then it may be beneficial for you to contact a coach.

    I’ve said it before and I will say it again; this is your life and you have the right to choose who you want to be.

    Just because you are someone’s child, does not mean you have to be them or like them. You have a choice in everything you do in life and that includes what type of person you want to be

    Finding yourself can be challenging but it is the most rewarding thing you could ever do. If we live the way everyone did we would all be the same and if you ask me that would be boring and that’s not life. Conforming to others wants and needs is living as a shadow.

    It’s time to start living your life and do what you want. Life is short and as someone once said to me live everyday as your last as one day it will be. I’m not meaning to be dramatic and when that was first said to me I was like “Oh no I’m going to die.” Now that I am older I can appreciate the meaning behind it. It has been the most impactful thing I have taken with me through life.

    That statement made me live my life the way I wanted to. It hasn’t always been easy but it has been a happy life and to me that is all that matters. There are many posts and memes on Facebook that say no matter what our financial state, socio economic status etc all our graves will be the same width and depth.

    So put away what others will think and how others act and just let yourself go. Be free and do what makes you happy. You can always make money back but you can never go back or gain back time.

    Live with no regrets start living for you and enjoy everyday.

    Do what you want and be who you want to be, spread your wings and fly away.